Mapping loss and connection

Growing up in different places and living abroad has created a rift between me and my cultural identity. Language and identity are closely connected. Under the Soviet regime, ethnic Azerbaijanis were discouraged from speaking their native tongue. Being educated in Russian - the language of the oppressor - was deemed more prestigious and elite and offered possibilities of a better future. Much like most children at the time, I was sent to a Russian school and as a result know very little of my native Azerbaijani, which created a further disconnect between me, my culture, and my ancestral memory.

This work consists of a series of wood panels representing bits of my cultural identity. It is aimed at conveying my experience as an Azerbaijani-Canadian who grew up with multiple cultures and the fragmented nature of diasporic life. Each panel contains images of culturally specific motifs, places drawn from memory, and Azeri words and verses. Creating this work was a process of re-learning and reclamation, as it involved research into my native language, literature, and music, as I curated what text to include in the work. The images that accompany the words are created using the charcoal transfer method, which yields imperfect impression-like results suggesting a distant memory. The organic shape and texture of the panels as well as the chosen colour palette are allusions to land, as land connects to culture, identity, and our ancestors. These pieces are “woven” together, using wool dyed with natural ingredients (turmeric, indigo, marigold, and walnut) – a material traditionally used in Azerbaijani weaving – in an attempt to bridge the gaps between the fragments and reconnect with my ancestral culture and practice. Here I create my own visual language to communicate my experience and tell a story.